Be flawless

Sep 27

(via shitreblogger)

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride
Sep 27

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via halesstorm)

wearesorryfortheinconvenience:

wearesorryfortheinconvenience:

my friend is CONVINCED he is the one who brought on post limit. a few years ago he was reblogging a single picture as fast as he could as many times as he could and then the server crashed and ever since then people started hitting a post limit

its his fault we go through this

if you were wondering this is the image image

bUT IDK MAN I THINK THERE IS PLENTY OF FUCKIN REASON TO BE UPSET

(Source: standardgaydad, via halesstorm)

Sep 27
Sep 27

(Source: ruinedchildhood, via halesstorm)

Sep 27

horroroftruant:

"Trick ‘r Treat: Sam’s Going Back to School" (2012) | Harold Zam

(via halesstorm)

cunt3r-parts:

jocknoir:

stormcloaca:

lokiarrty:

suckmypoppunk:

unshaped:

wasn’t expecting this

but arent you glad it hapened

its ears ITS EARS ITS EARS ITS EARS

floomph

oh my god

It’s so cute
Sep 27

cunt3r-parts:

jocknoir:

stormcloaca:

lokiarrty:

suckmypoppunk:

unshaped:

wasn’t expecting this

but arent you glad it hapened

its ears ITS EARS ITS EARS ITS EARS

floomph

oh my god

It’s so cute

(Source: caturday, via halesstorm)

potter-who-lock:

Andy you had one job
Sep 27

potter-who-lock:

Andy you had one job

(via halesstorm)

Sep 27

uniphants:

itseasytoremember:

youngstero:

how time flies

you aged really well

Pokemon trainers don’t age

(via halesstorm)

unpluggedoutlet:

Like a proud father.
Sep 27

unpluggedoutlet:

Like a proud father.

(via halesstorm)

lsdzeppelin:

i was taking pictures of the new puppy

image

when i look out the window to see the older dog just

image

(via halesstorm)

Sep 27